Support
How to strengthen your support base.
For people seeking support, remember, no-one is ever going to be more interested in your situation than you are.
For those who are supporting someone through this difficult time, it will involve a physical and emotional investment from you. It is important that you prioritise and ration your energy levels.
Some strategies that have assisted others
It has been our experience that it seems that it is more helpful to focus less on what we cannot do and more on how to enable ourselves to do things that are most important.
Although it seems simplistic to express it this way, putting things off can also increase stress. The anticipation of whatever event you are delaying may create more anxiety than you are trying to avoid.
Worrying is not the same as being prepared. Being prepared will reduce worry. Worrying is what happens when being concerned goes beyond what is reasonable or useful.
Let your friends and family know what helps you and what you need at this time. No matter how close they are to you it is unlikely that they can read your mind!
Depending on the circumstances, other members of your family may well be experiencing their own grief or worries which may limit the amount of support they can offer you at this time.
In this situation you may choose to seek the support from someone outside of your usual support network. Perhaps a healthcare worker involved in your care will be able to assist. It is not unusual for people to find it helpful to talk to someone who is not emotionally involved in their situation.
Try not to neglect your physical wellbeing despite feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
Emotional Support
Research suggests that people who view themselves as having received satisfactory emotional support during their illness report a more positive outlook and have better psychological adjustment even as their disease progresses.
Emotional support involves communicating concern and care.
The types of emotional support that people state were most helpful involved listening, empathising, comforting and reassuring.
Talking honestly about your particular circumstances may be very difficult for you at first. Our experience tells us that some people find themselves unable to say what is on their mind because they think that by exposing their fears they will somehow jinx themselves, that this is what will cause the next bad thing to happen. Just acknowledging to someone you trust, that this is how vulnerable you feel may help.
Providing emotional support in this situation is understanding that this may be what the person is fearing, and accompanying the person without passing judgement about whether or not this is an appropriate or helpful way of coping.